forgiveness for healing the heartThis month is generally associated with heart health. I thought it might be a good time to talk about forgiveness, what it is and what it is not.

While most of us think of forgiveness as letting the person that hurt us “off the hook”, nothing could be further from the truth.

The truth is, true forgiveness is:

…the peace you learn to feel when you stop renting out too much space in your mind to a grievance story.

…for you and not the offender.

…taking back your power, not giving it up.

…about  your healing and not about the people/things that hurt you.

…a trainable skill just like learning to throw a baseball.

…helps you to get control over your feelings.

…becoming a resilient hero instead of a permanent victim.


Forgiveness is not:

…condoning unkindness.

…not forgetting that something painful happened.

…not excusing poor behavior.

…does not have to be dramatic spiritual epiphany, with angels and a feeling of profound transcendence.

…not denying or minimizing your pain and hurt.

…does not mean reconciling with the offender.

…does not mean you give up having feelings.

Simply put, to forgive is to competely separate yourself from the pain, anguish, and heartache that keeps  you attached to the thing that hurt you. And in doing so, ensures that you will have a peace and contentment that will last forever.

Someone once said, “The best revenge is a happy life.” Isn’t it time you gave yourself the best chance to have one?